Suddenly it’s September

September 2022!

September is the beginning of two months of seven close family birthdays starting with Chloe’s on 13 September and finishing with Connie’s on 21 October. It includes our Dad’s on 25 September so obviously tea and cake was the order of that day!

All those birthdays also mean that we’re heading towards the end of the year and it feels like it has flown by! It’s been a month of changes for us, as we explored Richie’s health and looked at what things could be put into place to improve his well-being. 

After his ‘disappearing act’ last month, he and Mum had many appointments at the hospital and doctor to check up on his well-being.  Physically he took a few weeks to heal his various scratches and bruises but psychologically it has taken longer for him to get settled back into his usual routine.  He has been reluctant to go to his usual activities and even a quick visit to the local shops to pick something up has ended in a panic attack which manifests itself as Richie freezing and being unable to move for a period of time.  Throughout the month this response has improved, he has become more like his old relaxed self and started to go to and join in with some of his clubs but it has taken a lot of time and patience from Mum and all his support workers.  Mum was really pleased when he wanted to come back to church with her and he enjoyed a really warm welcome from everyone there, many of whom have known him for many years.

We also met with his new social worker this month and she did a carers assessment with Mum to look at Richie’s changing needs.  He responded really well to her; wanting to answer her questions and confirm details of his needs. Following on from this we had an initial visit to Audley’s Day Centre to see if that was somewhere Richie could go to engage with activities and peers plus she put in place an appointment with a respite home, Hindson House, in Basingstoke and we then met with their assessor.  Audley’s Day Centre is a great place, next to Audley’s Wood Hotel.  It has superb facilities and lots of interesting things going on.  Richie engaged with the whole visit until we got to the café area for a cuppa.  Then he did his freezing and took about 10 minutes to recover.  When he sat up and started taking notice of things again, he spotted someone he knew from Café Dome which meant we left on a positive note but we’re still not sure if he will take up a space there.  There have been so many things going on we haven’t really had time to discuss it!

However, things moved quite quickly as far as the respite home are concerned and he had an initial visit at the end of the month to have a look round and meet some of the staff.  It’s a really great place; next he will go there for a few hours at a mealtime before having one overnight.  If all of that goes well, then we can start to book a few overnights which will give Mum some much need respite and give Richie a different ‘holiday’ environment to be in having fun with some peers.

He also had the opportunity to go to the gym at the end of this month and learnt how to use some equipment in the move suite of The Sports Centre. This is especially designed for gentle exercise in a quiet environment and it is hoped it can become a weekly things for Rich and a support worker to go to and enjoy. He certainly enjoyed his first visit and is booked in for a second so that’s good sign!

Over the last few months Richie’s behaviour towards me has changed.  He often decides that is not so keen on me; sometimes he welcomes me with a smile and a hug; other times he mutters ‘oh no’ when he sees me and turns his back or goes into another room!  He managed to tell Mum that it is because I get cross with him – I don’t really but I’m not as patient as Mum and I also wondered if it was memories of me organising him back at the flat during all the lockdowns, and getting him to do things like sort out his room which he didn’t really want to do but we had to!  Mum has a very patient and gentle approach; I am not as naturally patient so probably come across as bossy because I want to get things done!

It has gradually got better this month and the majority of time he engages with me. He was especially happy with me when I delivered his ID badge.  Before he ran off overnight, my friend John had started designing an identity badge for him, with his picture and some contact details so that if he did get lost he would be able to ‘tell’ people who he is and who to contact.  Once they were finalised, I got them printed and laminated in Rymans (very helpful staff in the Basingstoke branch). He now has one on a lanyard to hang round his neck and others in various pockets and his wallet.  He absolutely loved them and couldn’t thank me and John enough!  The lanyard goes on every morning and he’s very proud of it!

Richie has also been reluctant to come to my house, often sitting in the car if Mum is popping round.  Towards the end of the month he came into the house but was tired so instantly dozed off on the sofa.  About 45 minutes later after Mum and I had had a cuppa, I went in to ask if he wanted to help me mow the lawn as it was a job he used to do and enjoy every week for Mum and Dad.  He said yes, so we went with it, he came out and once I had started up the mower he set off.  It was amazing how his muscle memory meant that he instantly knew how to press the handle down to engage the blade and get the mower moving.  It’s a huge heavy petrol one so I walked alongside ready to grab the handle if it got too much.  He tended to veer to the right all the time but it didn’t matter and most importantly he really, really enjoyed himself!

It has seemed to strike a new and improved balance with him and me!  The next thing is getting him ready for his holiday in Province at the beginning of October.  I am taking him to the airport which he says he is happy with but I think we will wait and see!

PS Apologies for the lack of photos – I still haven’t worked out how to make room on the wordpress storage without losing all the photos in earlier posts. They are on the facebook page so please have a look there https://www.facebook.com/theimportanceofbeingrichie